Every so often a film comes along that you love. Like, love, love. And you tell everyone who’ll listen how fucking dope this film is. That it changed your life, your outlook and your plans for the future. How it made you wanna call your Mum for a chat or make time for that friend you haven’t spoken to for a while and for some reason neither of you wanna be the first person to contact the other. But then your heart sinks because everyone else who watches this life changing movie hates it. With a passion! They ridicule you at every chance they get for even suggesting that this movie was anything but a piece of shit.
So here’s a list of my top 5 films that I love, love that everyone else hates and are commonly referred to as “boring”, “shit” or “a boring piece of shit”.
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
1. Water World.
This dropped when I was in single digits and had no idea what a flop was but it blew my mind in different ways. The ice caps had all melted and the whole world was now covered in water? MIND BLOWN! I saw characters learning that the myth of “dry-land” was in fact under the water and not something that floated over the water like the boats they had lived on for all of their lives. MIND BLOWN!! And Robin Hood was an evolved species with gills behind his ears and webbed fucking feet??? MIND-MUTHA-FUCKING-BLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess being a kid and seeing this terrifying apocalyptic new world and how humans had adapted to this way of life made for a really interesting and exciting movie that I still occasionally watch today. If you don’t like this film then I guess you don’t like fantasy, fun stuff and cool looking Mad Max characters on water ski’s.
2. I Am Legend.
The film where The Fresh Prince just bowls around chirpsing mannequins then eventually merks himself. This film doesn’t have much of a plot and is more of a character study of how loneliness can kill a mans mind. The zombies move like some cracked out Usain Bolt’s which makes for some terrifying zombie run scenes. Will Smith’s performance was dope and if you watch the original ending I think you’ll have much more appreciation for the film.
There’s also a whole other story happening underneath ‘I Am Legend’ that involves butterflies, religious faith and Bob Marley. Think I’ll write a whole blog on this one next.
3. Lady in the Water.
By the time this dropped M Knight Shyamalan was about as popular as the lonely kid he wrote about in The Sixth Sense. Lady in the Water is a weird little fantasy based on a bedtime story he used to tell his kids. I know, sounds shit init but trust me IT’S NOT! I’m not usually into fantasy unless there’s boobs and dragons every five minutes but something about this story grabbed me from the moment it kicked off. Maybe it’s Paul Giamatti’s understated and heartwarming performance (there’s a moment at the end that got me bawling like a baby…. in a CINEMA. Was embarrassing as fuck).Maybe it’s the mystery element and watching this loveable character attempt to solve an impossible enigma is what kept me so engaged. Or maybe it’s the fact that I do have a love for single-location films such as Reservoir Dogs, London, Tape, Bug, etc.
Either way, unlike the rest of the world, I love this film.
4. Cloud Atlas.
From the siblings who gave us The Matrix. The greatest movie of all time. Cloud Atlas isn’t the greatest movie of all time but it’s still a fucking good one. I found it amazing to watch the multiple stories unfold in the different time periods and the underline message of how we are all connected and that our decisions now can and will affect those in the future had me in bits. (yes I cried again, I’m a little bitch).
It’s easy to see why people would dislike this movie. Its long, the make up was fucking up peoples ethnicites and it’s really complicated. But Cloud Atlas honestly changed me. It seriously is a work of Art that everyone should watch and study over and over and over again.
And that score??? My god!
5. The Last Action Hero.
The first meta movie I ever saw. I lost my mind! A character in a movie, goes into an action movie and makes fun of the codes and conventions of the action movie genre. Sharon-fuck you with an ice pick under the pillow-Stone and the T-1000 both have a cameo for fucks sake! It was the first time I saw a movie being self-referential. It’s hilariously funny, has amazing action and even got a little serious at the end.
This apparently was a huge flop which is probably because the lead character is a kid but it’s not really a movie you can market to kids as it’s kinda violent. Movies seem to struggle when they transcend genres.
You should definitely check it out. It’s got the evil Dad from that boobs and dragons fantasy show we all love.
Mission Impossible 2.